Oh, That's Aunt Marie for Ya

My great aunt died yesterday.  I know what you're thinking, "great aunt... did you even know her? who cares."  That's probably what I would say if she was any other great aunt.  The truth is, I've only even met her three times in my life, but you didn't have to see her in person to know her.  She was an old maid, never married and no kids.  She lived with her parents until they died, and lived in that same home until she was in her late 80's.  She finally couldn't live on her own anymore, so she moved down to south Florida to live with her brother's family.  She was one of four kids, and all of her brothers and sister married and had kids.  Most of those kids grew up, got married, and had kids of their own (we're up to like 50 people now).  I guess because she didn't have family of her own, she took on everyone else's families.  She sent all the kids candy and cards and a couple dollars for all the little holidays - Valentines Day, Easter, St. Patrick's Day, Thanksgiving, Halloween.  Then, on top of that, she sent us all Christmas and birthday cards every year.  These weren't just cards with her name signed, they were personalized, with our names written on them and every space full of her notes to us about how she loved us and had heard about all the great things we were doing.  Up until last year, she never missed a birthday or Christmas.  The family she was living with wouldn't let her put checks in the cards anymore, so she would get pennies and nickels and dimes to make up however old you were and tape them to the card.  We would always laugh when we got the cards because they were so corny, sigh, and say "oh aunt marie".  I always wrote her back, to thank her and tell her about my life.  I felt sorry for her that she never had kids or a husband, but maybe she wanted it that way.

Anyway, She was 94 this year.  My dad says it's good that she finally passed on because it was time.  I think he is trying to act strong, but I know he is hurt.  My mom says he won't go do anything, won't leave the house.  His dad died as a kid, so his mom spent a lot of time with her family.  Basically, my dad was raised by my Aunt Marie as much as his own mother.  And honestly, she was much more of a grandparent to me than my real grandparents.  My nana could give two shits about my sister and I, my granddaddy on my mom's side died when I was in high school, but I had never even talked to him.  The only other grandparent is my grandma on my mom's side, who we see quite a bit and who I'm sure loves us.  She has never been very nice, though.  The point is, my Aunt Marie was the best grandparent I had, even though she was a little removed.

I wish I had written her one more time.  The last time I wrote her was last year, and I hadn't heard from her since.  My dad said she was kind of losing it, so I didn't see the point in trying to write her anymore.  I feel bad about that now.  After she moved to South Florida, just a couple of years ago I guess, my parents took my sister and I down to see her.  She knew my dad was coming, but was surprised to see my sister and I.  She started balling crying and saying she thought she would never get to see us again.  She kept telling me my hair was just like my dad's dad's hair (grandpa's), which everyone has always told me.  I was so glad that I stayed in touch with her because she knew me and was happier to see me than my sister, who never wrote her.  I can't explain how she just made you feel loved, something my other grandparents never gave me.  It seems weird to be this upset about someone dying that you've only seen in person three times (only twice that I can even remember), but she was a really special person.  She lived a long life, but I'm still sorry to see her go.