I just found a journal entry on my computer from about 2 1/2 weeks before I drank anti-freeze. Reading it sent shivers down my spine. I can't believe how disturbed my thinking was. I'm debating whether or not to post it because a) it's really long, b) it's horribly depressing, and c) it may show way more of my thoughts than I'm willing to expose. Fortunately, I know I don't think that way anymore. It would, however, probably help a lot of people with depression realize their thoughts are disturbed but they aren't the only ones thinking it.
I've got to think about it some more....
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