Friday, November 20, 2009

Let's get this started!

I think this is going to be a long post since I have to start by explaining everything.  I've never written a blog before, and I'm not sure that anyone will even read it.  I just thought I'd give this a try because I know when I was sick I searched all over the internet for help and understanding.  I hope this helps someone somewhere. 
So, I'm figuring that I will give a brief overview in this first post and address the details of my story as life happens. 
I am a 23 year-old college student in Florida.  I was born and raised in the same town with the same people.  When I was 18, I went to college 900 miles away where I knew NO ONE.  At the same time, my parents moved 5 hours from the town I grew up in to a city I had never even been to.  Apparently, these changes were a little too much for me. 
Over the first 2 1/2 years of college, I slowly sunk into a deep depression.  As with most depression, it was only worsened by growing anxiety.  By the end of my freshman year, I was routinely slicing up my arms.  Eventually I was put on a variety of medications that were only making my symptoms worse.  In December of 2006, I overdosed on medication.
That first attempt was not handled well, and only made me more resolved to kill myself.  I left school and moved into my parents' house, but was still extremely sick.  The following May (2007), I attempted suicide again.  This attempt was much worse.  It sparked a flurry of responses from my parents and doctors to finally get me good, real help.  I was placed in a crisis center for two weeks, and then moved directly into an inpatient rehab type facility for three and a half months.  When I finally left, I started seeing an AMAZING therapist who did everything under the sun to help me.  She forced me to get a job, volunteer, take tennis lessons, and start running all in the same month.  These were integral steps towards my recovery. 
In August 2008, I was able to go back to college.  Of course, this time I stayed in my home state and went somewhere fairly close to my parents.  They were nervous about this transition after my history.  The first few months away were very difficult.  I had been in therapy for almost three years, and when I went back to college it stopped abruptly.  My therapist from home encouraged me to call her everytime I needed support, but it was still hard.  All in all, the first few months did not go well.  I had several breakdowns, started starving and bingeing and purging, and eventually overdosed again.  I was put back in a crisis center for three days and it was then that I realized I did not want to do this anymore.  I was done with being depressed and anxious and sick.  I wanted to be normal again.

No comments:

Post a Comment