I think this is going to be a long post since I have to start by explaining everything. I've never written a blog before, and I'm not sure that anyone will even read it. I just thought I'd give this a try because I know when I was sick I searched all over the internet for help and understanding. I hope this helps someone somewhere.
So, I'm figuring that I will give a brief overview in this first post and address the details of my story as life happens.
I am a 23 year-old college student in Florida. I was born and raised in the same town with the same people. When I was 18, I went to college 900 miles away where I knew NO ONE. At the same time, my parents moved 5 hours from the town I grew up in to a city I had never even been to. Apparently, these changes were a little too much for me.
Over the first 2 1/2 years of college, I slowly sunk into a deep depression. As with most depression, it was only worsened by growing anxiety. By the end of my freshman year, I was routinely slicing up my arms. Eventually I was put on a variety of medications that were only making my symptoms worse. In December of 2006, I overdosed on medication.
That first attempt was not handled well, and only made me more resolved to kill myself. I left school and moved into my parents' house, but was still extremely sick. The following May (2007), I attempted suicide again. This attempt was much worse. It sparked a flurry of responses from my parents and doctors to finally get me good, real help. I was placed in a crisis center for two weeks, and then moved directly into an inpatient rehab type facility for three and a half months. When I finally left, I started seeing an AMAZING therapist who did everything under the sun to help me. She forced me to get a job, volunteer, take tennis lessons, and start running all in the same month. These were integral steps towards my recovery.
In August 2008, I was able to go back to college. Of course, this time I stayed in my home state and went somewhere fairly close to my parents. They were nervous about this transition after my history. The first few months away were very difficult. I had been in therapy for almost three years, and when I went back to college it stopped abruptly. My therapist from home encouraged me to call her everytime I needed support, but it was still hard. All in all, the first few months did not go well. I had several breakdowns, started starving and bingeing and purging, and eventually overdosed again. I was put back in a crisis center for three days and it was then that I realized I did not want to do this anymore. I was done with being depressed and anxious and sick. I wanted to be normal again.
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